hemming my pants with masking tape and staples, driving my car for the first time, smiling at cute boys when they look away, listening to night swimming on repeat, wondering about the future, crying about the past, i am 17, again. * buying furniture that can’t be assembled in three steps, taking a new way […]

i don’t know if it’s that i spoke to my grandma on the phone the other day and, while she is getting better, she still sounds so old and tired and far away, or that my father is still awaiting his biopsy results, or that i am turning 27 (TWENTY SEVEN) on friday, but i […]

so, like, if i were the kind of person who bitched all the time about every little thing that pissed her off, i’d probably tell you about the guy who cut me off last night on the sunset strip, and while i was at it, i’d probably mention that i hate that part of town […]

it only took an hour and a half, enough time for me to grab a latte and cinnamon roll at the coffee cart, read kurt cobain’s journal entries in last week’s newsweek and begin this week’s list of good things. i also made friends with a 2-year-old girl with pigtails tied with yellow pom-poms. i […]

i tell myself, christine, you have to keep it together. but this is the hard part: the waiting. the being strong. the hoping for the best. it’s strange how my comfort comes in your understanding. you know how i feel because you’ve been there. in fact, you have more to mourn because you lost someone […]

i’m wearing the medal she gave me. i forgot i had it and i forgot she gave it to me, until thursday night, when i was looking for a silver chain to wear around my neck. it was nestled in in a tiny pouch at the bottom of my jewelry box. it’s heart-shaped and silver, […]

this morning, i picked up my brand new car and the sad irony is that this is the one piece of good news in ages i would like to tell my grandma in a letter, but she is in the hospital in ICU. she had a heart attack at 3 in the morning. she couldn’t […]

mostly, really, it’s just hormones coupled with nerves and a lack of patience. by this time next week, i expect i will have calmed down considerably. i’ll be able to focus on perfecting the hot toddy, finding the perfect brown boots and planning my uk holiday. i know it’s fall because when i leave the […]

after weighing all my baggage and measuring all the options, after making mistakes and learning from them, after taking stock in who i am and what i have and where i want to go, i realize that all it comes down to is: i don’t want to grow up. while it may seem charming and […]

something’s gotta gonna change.