this morning, i picked up my brand new car and the sad irony is that this is the one piece of good news in ages i would like to tell my grandma in a letter, but she is in the hospital in ICU. she had a heart attack at 3 in the morning. she couldn’t breathe. the first 24 hours are critical, they say. if she pulls through, she’ll be okay. if not, well.
on friday night, we all gathered in my living room to call her. we passed the phone, giggles and exasperated breaths because she couldn’t understand a word we were saying.
when ricky asked her how she was feeling, she said, “not so good.”
when i asked her the same question, she said, “very well.”
“but grandma,” i said, “that’s not what you told ricky.”
“for ricky…not so good. for you…very well.”
maybe she wanted to put on her brave face for me, because she knows i am always telling her not to worry, to think positively, that everything will be okay. but now, i have a hard time believing those things, myself.
my mom leaves on a plane first thing in the morning, while the rest of us wait, hope and pray.