Around my collar, close to my heart

November 4, 2002

i’m wearing the medal she gave me. i forgot i had it and i forgot she gave it to me, until thursday night, when i was looking for a silver chain to wear around my neck. it was nestled in in a tiny pouch at the bottom of my jewelry box.

it’s heart-shaped and silver, with a painted red flower and emerald leaves. it looks like a locket, but instead of flipping up, it slides open. it’s a miraculous medal, like the tin ones mom would safety pin to the inside of my shirt before going on a long trip. they are supposed to keep you safe.

i called my dad from a payphone in the mountains this weekend and he told me the doctor said it would take a miracle for her to recover.

a miracle.

i’m wearing the medal she gave me, not because i think it’s going to change things or because i need saving. i just like it because it reminds me of my grandma. it makes feel close to her, even though we’re thousands of miles apart.


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