a light at the end of the tunnel

August 9, 2009

For the most part, Rama’s right. But I suspect he’s been watching me and my pregnancy with cartoon hearts in his eyes.

I definitely don’t think I’ve been as graceful as he’s made me out to be, and I’m not just talking about my wind-up-toy waddle. Too often I find myself without patience, restraint or tact. Sometimes, I just feel miserable—a lot of times for no particular reason—and poor Rama, try as he might, can’t do a thing about it.

Every time I do find myself complainy or cranky, I try to take a look around myself. I see the sweet home that we have begun to make for ourselves. I think about our dear family who have been so generous with their love and support. I have a comforting conversation with one of my darling friends and I remember I am not alone.

Whenever I start to get nervous—about labor & delivery, about becoming a good mother, about making enough money, about nurturing my marriage—I remember the families in the Philippines who live in shacks on the side of Mayon volcano. If they can make a life for themselves, well gosh, so can we.

When all else fails, I remember that this is what I’ve wanted my entire life: To be a mother, to have a family, to create a home for us filled with love, laughter, color and warmth. And now it’s happening. It’s really happening.

This new journey is not going to be easy, I know that. But it will be an adventure, and I am ready as I’ll ever be for the beautiful, wild ride.


  1. rama says:

    i love this post because it documents every upbeat thing we have said to each other when the going got tough.

    regarding your crankiness, i think it’s all a matter of degree. i admit that you have had moments of grouchiness but christine at her crankiest is perfectly kind compared to some people i know.

  2. Swirly says:

    I have absolute faith you are going to create a beautiful family, and I am excited to watch it unfold. :)

  3. Toni says:

    This is so exciting. And yeah, keep the faith! This is a dream come true. :)

  4. wendy says:

    oh the families on the side of the volcano – that is an awesome turn around. you little boy is going to have the best thing possible – soo much love.

  • I'm Christine, and this is a slice of my life—a sweet, rich, wildly indulgent slice that would taste really good with a scoop of Breyers vanilla bean ice cream. Read more >>

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