i’m a complete mess. i have a bruise on my upper thigh and i don’t know where i got it. i left the key in the door last night — all night — and it took me all morning to realize where they were. i keep having dreams about people i don’t even want to […]

tomorrow night i am reading some words and rima is singing some songs, so tonight we had a dress rehearsal in our living room — “dress rehearsal,” i called it, but really we were in our pajamas and i can assure you i won’t be performing in those. my pieces, of course, were mostly sad […]

i have a new favorite place to sit. it’s this big cushy chair in the corner of our apartment that looks out a window. the window looks out into our backyard. our backyard has flowering trees. when the window is open, which is every night now that summer looms, a breeze brings in the smell […]

these days, i pay very close attention to signs. i stop, look and listen to everything around me because i don’t want to miss anything. if i left everything up to me, i’d sit there plotting charts and imagining every possible scenario before even attempting to make a decision or any kind of progress. i […]

i’m sitting indian-style on hard wood, staring down at the keyboard that is resting on my lap. the floor is my desk. it’s also my bed, my dresser and my cabinets. this afternoon, after they left, i dumped my blankets and comforters on the floor and collapsed on top of them. the sun was shining […]

last night, we sat on the wooden patio set at the corner of weyburn and broxton, sipping almond milky tea with boba, watching the cars go by. and go by. and go by. we talked about our weekends, giggling and sighing and supposing, and whatever happened, whatever happens, we both decided that it was enough. […]

i am scattered all over the place right now. i am carrying an armful of emotions, but they keep falling to the ground, and when i bend down to pick one up, another one falls. so here i am, taking slow steps, holding on tightly to the load. my arms are not strong enough for […]

the stacks of boxes in her room get higher and higher, yet there is no sense of disruption in mine. it looks just as it did yesterday. black converse and tan socks beside the trash can. CDs and izone photographs on my desk. empty shoe box, old LA weekly, pile of clothes. i opened the […]

i just don’t like goodbyes at all. period. i don’t do well with them. i stumble over my words and mumble things under my breath and repeat myself and heave heavy sighs and make strange faces. they say first impressions are lasting, but i am always worried about the final one. it seems to me […]

this morning, i saw my entire existence reduced to a single paragraph. several lines of copy buzzing through the fax machine and then landing in my hand. and i could not let it go. so this is how it feels to be dead, i thought. to be floating above the world long after you’re gone, […]