these days, i pay very close attention to signs. i stop, look and listen to everything around me because i don’t want to miss anything. if i left everything up to me, i’d sit there plotting charts and imagining every possible scenario before even attempting to make a decision or any kind of progress.
i came home tonight with every intention of grabbing some pancit palabok, making a phone call or two, unpacking my kitchen boxes, organizing my bedroom, and maybe even taking another bubble bath, but when i opened the front door, i was greeted by my new roommate and her old roommate sitting on the sofa, chit-chatting about things. they were on their way out to the coffee table and asked if i wanted to come. without hesitation, i said yes. unpacking can wait, i thought to myself. phonecalls can wait. obsessing can wait.
but friends can’t, and off we went, down the windy road, to the bottom of the hill.
fifteen minutes became an hour became two hours became three, and the conversation tumbled from food to family to work to love. i laughed so much, and i knew that i’d made the right choice. not just tonight, but to move into this apartment, to stay at my job, to live my life the way i have been. to be where i am. (i try not to let myself regret, anymore.)
at one point, darlene said to me: “you’ve are so together.” i almost broke out laughing, because most days i feel everything but.
this time, though, she said it and i let the words sink in. “thank you,” i smiled.
it felt good to get a compliment. it felt good to actually accept it.