leaving on a jetplane

I have written it in email over and over again, and I’ve said it to a few friends, but I still can’t make sense of the words: My grandmother is very sick, and I am leaving on a last-minute trip to the Philippines tomorrow morning.

What do I know?

That I am so grateful to have a husband who is here for me. I am so out of sorts as it is, I can’t imagine how lost I’d feel without him.

That I will miss him while I’m gone. It will be the longest we’ve been apart since getting married nearly 2 years ago, and it’s not just the other side of the country. It’s oceans and time zones away, and there’s no email.

That I am glad I can be there for my mom, even though I have no idea what to say to her when we speak.

That I am sad. Just really, really, really sad. Even though I know all the wise and beautiful things people say about life and death–and I believe in God and heaven and that things all happen for a reason–I am still sad. (And I know that is okay that I am.)

Please send your thoughts and prayers to my grandma, my family and myself. We need–and so appreciate–them.

See you in 2 weeks, dear friends. xo

Filed Under Today | Say Something (19)