as i lay me down to sleep (on a bed of paperwork)

February 8, 2006

I know I have a tendency to make things sound and look pretty. To tie everything in a nice, neat bow. Perfect little packages. But that’s not life. Life is sometimes ugly and messy, stressful and crazed. Wedding planning can be overwhelming. Working from home can get lonely. Transitions, like the ones I am going through, can be painful and awkward and exhausting.

So why don’t I write about it? Because I don’t feel like it. Because I like to keep things to myself and those close to me. Because sometimes I do start to write about it, but as I write, I process, and as I process, I start to feel better, and the paragraphs I’d written are already outdated.

So why am I bothering to write about it now? I haven’t the slightest clue. It’s 4:30 in the afternoon and I am tired of thinking about the wedding for today and I want to take a nap but there’s a pile of papers on my bed that should be sorted first. I knew I wanted to update my site, but I had no idea what I was going to say. This is what came out.


  1. rama says:

    i love the way your brain works. how it frets until you reflect. you always see the silver lining somehow. more than that, you actually appreciate it. that is a wonderful gift.

  2. chelsea says:

    It’s a good habit, to focus on the positives, otherwise you become too caught up in negative emotions. I want to look for the laughs at all times. Life’s more enjoyable that way. And YAY! for writing and the way it helps to clarify things. Thanks for your honesty.

  3. matirose says:

    i get what you mean completely! and rama does too:) that is 1/2 the reason to write, no? i’m going to need to ask you for advice soon after you get married my dear! in the meantime, one neat bow at a time!

  4. bohemiangirl says:

    naps are healing when you’re feeling the overwhelm of planning a wedding.

    nap away…nap with rama.

    : )

  5. stella says:

    good for you girl. i know i don’t have to tell you that putting stuff on paper and getting it off your chest is a completely therapeutic exercise. writing is totally about writing for *yourself* xo!

  6. Swirly says:

    I love your honesty…sometimes what we need to do is simply blurt things out in their own way.

  7. pixie says:

    ever heard the phrase, “stop shoulding all over yourself”? take your nap, honey. you must be very sleepy. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo p.s. rama totally gets it, as i’m sure you know. :)

  8. Wendi says:

    Wow. I can so relate to this. I’ve been writing from a similar place lately.


  9. muck says:

    here’s a glass of champagne for ya! there are days that must happen to you – walt whitman

  • I'm Christine, and this is a slice of my life—a sweet, rich, wildly indulgent slice that would taste really good with a scoop of Breyers vanilla bean ice cream. Read more >>

  • I run a darling, friendly, little graphic design studio.
    I look on the bright side.
    I take photos. Lots of photos.
    I wish on stars and on websites.

  • I built my first web site 7 years ago and got 15 seconds of fame. (It changed my life.)
    I launched, then relaunched, an online magazine.
    I admitted to several embarrassing crushes.
    I consumed more bacon than any human should and lived to tell the tales.

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