September 25, 2002

i am finally realizing that you are everywhere, and i’m just going to have to get used to it.

i see you at the grocery store, at the bar, in my living room, in my portland living room, in my paris dorm hallway, in my suitcase, in my purse, in my wallet, in the shower, in my dreams, in the waking hours. i can’t escape you. i don’t know why i even try.

instead, i need to learn how not to jump back every time i catch a glimpse of you, how to bite my tongue and smile instead of saying something they don’t need to hear, how to keep it bottled up inside of me because some things, some things are better left tucked away. unseen, unsaid, unheard.

when we pass on opposite sides of the crowded street, let’s pretend we don’t even see each other, like they do in the movies. we can look back once, even twice, but then we must keep on walking.


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