so: i still do that thing where i get all quiet nervous schoolgirl on people i really admire. a thousand compliments and questions and marriage proposals swirl in my head as i’m waiting in line to talk to you but then, when you are there, in front of me, they fly out my ears and all i can do is force a smile.
inside, i am jello. i can’t stop sweating. i can barely speak.
only when i walk away can i think clearly and all the brilliant ideas come flooding back. maybe i’m better off admiring you from afar.