some people give me hope. others drain it out of me.
i am trying to believe. i am trying to believe that people are kind and that intentions are good, but i just don’t know right now. i’m trying to believe that this is the exception to the rule and that i am getting carried away and that i will see the world in rosy colors again come morning, but i am convincing myself otherwise.
sometimes, it doesn’t pay to be smart. you can convince yourself of anything if you try hard enough.
and i feel so horrible about what i said last night. i didn’t mean to rain on her parade. i didn’t mean to sound like i wasn’t happy for her. but the words poured out of my mouth before i could think about what i was saying. i heard my voice echoing into the receiver, and i hardly recognized myself.
(all my gingerbread walls come tumbling down.)
i am trying to believe, but sometimes it seems impossible.
and you know, it didn’t have to come to this.