My gingerbread walls come tumbling down

July 9, 2001

some people give me hope. others drain it out of me.

i am trying to believe. i am trying to believe that people are kind and that intentions are good, but i just don’t know right now. i’m trying to believe that this is the exception to the rule and that i am getting carried away and that i will see the world in rosy colors again come morning, but i am convincing myself otherwise.

sometimes, it doesn’t pay to be smart. you can convince yourself of anything if you try hard enough.

and i feel so horrible about what i said last night. i didn’t mean to rain on her parade. i didn’t mean to sound like i wasn’t happy for her. but the words poured out of my mouth before i could think about what i was saying. i heard my voice echoing into the receiver, and i hardly recognized myself.

(all my gingerbread walls come tumbling down.)

i am trying to believe, but sometimes it seems impossible.

and you know, it didn’t have to come to this.


  • I'm Christine, and this is a slice of my life—a sweet, rich, wildly indulgent slice that would taste really good with a scoop of Breyers vanilla bean ice cream. Read more >>

  • I run a darling, friendly, little graphic design studio.
    I look on the bright side.
    I take photos. Lots of photos.
    I wish on stars and on websites.

  • I built my first web site 7 years ago and got 15 seconds of fame. (It changed my life.)
    I launched, then relaunched, an online magazine.
    I admitted to several embarrassing crushes.
    I consumed more bacon than any human should and lived to tell the tales.

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