it’s getting hot, really hot, and it makes me lazy and cranky and sweaty. i actually considered getting my sweat glands surgically removed, but then my mother told me there were usually complications with those sorts of operations. i imagined the sweat instead pouring from various glands throughout my body, like a pipe that kept bursting leaks. it freaked me out, and i decided i would stop worrying about it. i am a girl. i am allowed to glisten.
if you were a fly on my wall you might have heard:
me: you know, in weather like this, it’s too hot to even wear a bra
her: i know, i had to forgo it
me: it’s so unfair that boys don’t even have to worry about that
her: yeah, we have to always double up
me: i know, not only do we can we not go without a shirt, but we also have to wear something underneath
her: yeah, that’s right
me: boys have no idea
to cope with the heat, we have also implemented a daily regimen of ice cream and long pauses in front of the electric fan. if it doesn’t let up, i may have to resort to operation slip n’ slide.