24 may 2001 @ 10:14pm
i just got back from church and i’m wiped. my back aches, my allergies are acting up and i have this strange splinter on my heel — i feel like a grandma more than ever. (“oh my aching back!”) you know what sounds perfect after a day like today? sitting at anastasia’s with you, drinking a vanilla latté and just talkingtalkingtalking until everything starts to make sense again.
right now my head is spinning,
and like everything is zooming right by me and i’m trying to get a glimpse of it all but it’s too fast and it’s too much. so much has happened in the past month, and it’s sl all starting to hit me, what everything means.
i’m probably just talking nonsense, but that’s what i do when i’m tired. oh my god, remember that one time at st. joe’s when i broke down and ran in the rain and crawled into my car and rambled like a mad fool? haha! and you just gave me that look, that Tonia Look that said, “christine you are being so crazy right now but it’s okay because i love you anyway” and you started to laugh and i started to laugh too.
and that’s what i miss.
not having to say much, because we know we understand completely.
that’s why although you know i still want desperately to move to new york someday, i am secretly hoping i will still be here when you come home. because we’ll have more than rushed emails and hushed phone calls on the company 1-800 number. because you’ll be here with me (and the rest of your family, but that goes without saying).
i’m so excited for your visit next week, and i hope we can steal a few moments (i’ll settle for one) to have girl time.
until then, my little fireball.