19 may 2001 @ 12:01pm.
i just dug through my shoebox of stationary to find some pretty paper on which to write and found this pad that vaguely reminds me of fruit stripe gum. i’m writing with a new pen — the uni-ball VISION EXACT(TM) — which i (dare i say it) like even more than the pilot vball. it’s my new favorite pen. i don’t even know why i’m writing you this letter (on paper, i mean, as opposed to email) because last time i asked for your address, you couldn’t give it to me due to paranoid, er, concerned roommates, which i can completely understand. but it feels nice to sit here with my cup of coffee & pad on my lap. it feels nice to write.
thank you for your letter. thank you for thinking out loud with me. and i — you know, as usual — know just what you mean. about the webstuff. about the loneliness. about the choices. all of it. especially the loneliness.
see, that’s the weird thing. i feel stupid for feeling lonely because it sounds like such a whiney 14-year-old-girl thing to say. especially when i have filled my life with such goodness, lately. like time with high school kids and my new kickass roommate rima and my friends claudine and joel and lisaann and my darling parents and everyone else. i love them all and i am so glad they’re in my life, and yet. well. let me put it this way: i miss having a boy around. (“the boy,” by the way, of whom i spoke is a web boy, but it’s a long story and i don’t even know anymore). i miss cuddling and kissing and poking and tickling and hand holding. god, i am such a sap. make me stop. now.
so, this is what i think: i think no matter what you do and where you go, you need to either a) stay in NYC until i at least come & visit you or b) stop by LA on the way to your next destination. really. we have a futon and it’s oh so comfortable and hardwood floors to slide around on and i’ll make you coffee or tea in the morning and drive you around my ‘hood with the windows rolled down and it’ll be lovely. come on. really. please?
i am not trying to make light of your dilemma, mind you. it’s just that i know you’ll make the right choice. you’re one tough cookie & sharp as a tack (ha! do i sound like your grandma? “here, have a kleenex.”). out of the people in my life i care about, there are some
people i know will always be okay. that’s why i’m not worried about you. not because i don’t care. because i know you kick ass like that.
1) when did meg become “mae”?
2) who is angelene?
i want to see europe photos & hear europe stories! um. now!
ok. i think i heard claudine’s
d car door slam outside, so that’s my cue. we’re having bacon for lunch! well, she won’t, since she’s vegetarian, but i will.
write soon, dear.
p.s. yes! domain! do it!
p.p.s. you = rockstar.