i am supposed to be asleep right now. shh, don’t tell my mom. all of a sudden i’m 12 again, and i was told i should go to bed so i will look fresh tomorrow. what is fresh? a cake. a bouquet of flowers. a newspaper off the press. a bridesmaid after a good night’s sleep. apparently.
i wrote a list of things on a scrap of paper so that i wouldn’t forget to
bring: make-up, sweater and handkerchief (something borrowed for the bride)
it is supposed to rain tomorrow. they say rain is bad luck, but i think it’s just wet. i almost brought my rain coat, but somehow didn’t think it would match the periwinkle taffeta. i could be wrong.
all of this silliness, of course, is to hide the fact that tomorrow carrie is getting married, and while i am so incredibly happy for her, i am awash in some sort of sadness. i can’t explain it. it’s sort of like i’m jealous, but not of her. of him. he gets to be her best friend now. not me. he gets to hear all her secrets and learn all her silly quirks and build a library of jokes that only they know.
“it all changes when they get married, you know,” matt said.
“i know,” i said. i know.