how is it that one year, even two, can pass, and some things don’t seem to change? i feel like there will always be this cloud of wonder following me. i will always feel overwhelmed with questions. i will always be waiting for the next big thing.
i thought it was something i’d outgrow, this dreamy-eyed existence, but i’m realizing that it’s just me. this is the way i am.
whew. now that we’ve got that settled, can we move on?
no! that’s the worst part. this kind of attitude lends itself to getting lost in my own thoughts and staring off into the distance; scribbling madly in journals such things as “i hate waiting” and “2 more weeks”; making “if x then y” charts and “the pros and cons of” lists; dreaming, literally dreaming of what could be, my subconscious never ceasing to amaze me. stuck in a loop of imaginings and longings, with infinite possibility.