outdone. an ice wreath of berries, bunches of gerber daisies and croutons shaped as hearts. martha stewart would have been proud of the fine display. and carrie looked so lovely, like a bonfaide bride-to-be. seriously, it was that glow that you always read about. she was shining.
when it came time to give her marriage advice, i squirmed in my chair and mumbled how i wasn’t married so i wasn’t really sure what to say. but after a moment of thought i told her to always make time for herself, because i know how she gets. she givesgivesgives and forgets to take. it’s what makes her heart so pure, it’s why i love her, it’s why he loves her, but it is also the sort of thing that could make you break down one day and wonder what you ever gave yourself.
at home, i finally tried on the dress, a gown i hadn’t seen until today. holding my breath, i stepped into it, pulled the zipper up and stood in front of the mirror. i sighed relief, because all this time i had been worrying it would be too small (which is silly, perhaps, but despite myself i worried anyway) but it was actually too big. my body was swimming in the shimmery periwinkle fabric and my hair was a shaggy mess; i looked like a little girl playing dress-up.
maybe i still am, in some ways, and that’s okay, because there’s plenty of time for everything else. i am taking my sweet time, but i’ll get there eventually.
for now, i’ll just lounge around in my empty and messy apartment, drink tea out of my favorite red mug and listen to the same cd, over and over again. right now, i couldn’t think of anything more wonderful.