so there seems to be a lot of this going around. revamping, some call it. finding their voice. making a change, some kind of change, any kind of change, just because. well, i don’t care what you call it. it’s really not important. all that matters is we are here now. (and thank you, by the way, for coming. it’s so nice to see you.)
more than a year ago, i had a vision of a pretty website and six colored squares.
it would be, i decided, my little spot on the web: a place filled with pieces of myself and words that left you feeling all warm and fuzzy. so i carefully arranged each piece and everything fit just right. it was neat.
but then i started to feel claustrophobic. everything fit so well that i didn’t want to ever mess anything up. i wanted room to breathe. i needed room to scribble and be sloppy and silly. remember how fun it was to color outside of the lines? i loved my 64 box of crayolas with all my heart and dug deep into the paper until the tips of the crayons were flat and i could smell the wax on my fingers.
i want to play, again.
while volunteering at a hospital during high school, i came across a little girl who asked my friend to draw a picture for her.
“oh no,” carrie said. “i can’t draw.”
the girl looked at her, puzzled, and replied: “you have hands, don’t you?”
that always comes to mind when i realize i am getting too caught up in details, when i am getting so focused on doing things the right way that i end up doing things the safe and boring way–or end up doing nothing at all.
expression isn’t about Their Way or holding back or being afraid. it’s about letting go and shouting out and sharing whatever the hell you want to. i don’t know about you, but that’s why i’m here.