my thighs feel like sausages. (and my stomach feels like a big doughy roll.) i told my friend peter that i think i am getting a beer belly and he just laughed. “HA HA HA HA. you look fine.” but maybe i don’t want to look fine.

i am so unamused with these last blasts of hot air. isn’t it supposed to be fall? last night, i took a nap after dinner, and woke up feeling sticky and gross and disoriented. indian summer, i muttered, and dragged myself out of bed. seth and stella rescued me from my oven-baked house and we […]

you said los angeles wouldn’t be standing come morning, but look, here we are, still standing, smog, sunshine and silver lake. i drove up the west side of the reservoir and everyone was up and about so early in the morning. there was a father trying to block the view of his son peeing against […]

i am fresh out of words tonight, but i want you to know i’m okay. i feel silly having you believe otherwise.

tonight, the tears came. i hadn’t been able to cry all week, although i wanted to, although i felt like i should (and felt guilty that i hadn’t). i cried for the mother clutching the framed photographs of the child she’d never see again. i cried for the children who have to see the horrific […]

i call it the Long Lost Love because i have held a torch for it since we first met four years ago: in the hot, crowded loft of the saucebox. i developed a serious crush, fast and hard, and could not stop thinking about it. four years later, and i could not stop thinking about […]

i feel like i am not educated enough, not smart enough, not brave enough to talk to you like this. i am good at opening my big mouth but i am not as good at getting things done and quite frankly, i am so terrified i’m paralyzed and i have done nothing for anyone but […]

we went to the beach tonight. there were no planes overhead, only stars. we lit a fire and did cartwheels in the sand and sang songs under the whirring wind. my mom begged me not to go anywhere public, but it is too hard to stay in the house, where i am tempted to feed […]

i have never been good with politics or history or world affairs. this world is too big for me to comprehend. (it never sat in the palm of my hand.) i can barely get a handle on myself, my family and friends, much less tragedies such as this. i keep thinking of the people who […]

all the circuits are busy and i am gripping my phone so tightly and i can’t stop pacing around the house and i just want you to be ok. i don’t want to leave my house today. i just want to tell everyone how much i love them. everyone, i love you. (it’s so strange, […]