Last night, I dreamt that I found a lump in my left breast. I was staring at my reflection in the mirror when I noticed that there was something uneven about my breasts. I ran my hand over the left one and found a bump the size of an egg. Strangely, in my dream I […]

I’m back, teetering between timezones and realities. I woke up this morning, thinking, hoping, it was a decent hour, but no. It was 4am and I was wide awake. I sat up in bed and read my laptop like a book pressed up against my chest. I imagined what my family might be doing in […]

I’m spoiled with beaches the way I am with swimming pools. I spent summer days lounging around secluded spots in the town where my grandmother grew up, digging my toes in black sand, chasing warm water waves, and swinging on hammocks dangling on coconut trees. Even in Newport Beach, a 30-minute drive that felt like […]

Now that you and you and you and you are reading this, I don’t know what to say. Mom, dad, aunts, uncles, even my grandma is reading my website, and I am getting severe stage fright. How will I ever become a real writer, I ask myself, when I am too afraid to tell real […]

each year, the 4th of july becomes more and more about my independence than this country’s. i had a houseguest and a barbeque, i played hostess and tour guide, i scheduled outings and naptime. there were moments of hostess anxiety when i worried that something would go wrong, that we wouldn’t have a good time, […]

last night, we talked about swimming. i realized i hadn’t swum in months–maybe even a year. i haven’t swum because i don’t like sharing the water. we had a pool in our backyard growing up, and i never had to worry about interruptions in my laps or glances at my imperfect curves. rama told me […]

i don’t normally like to dream out loud. i like to keep things secret until i know they are real. it’s a lack of confidence, maybe; a safety net because i think i might fall and i don’t want you to be there when it happens. but i want to be braver. the process is […]

lately, i have been thinking a lot about swiss cheese. i have been thinking about holes in stories and messages between lines that never get told. i like you, and i enjoy sharing bits of my days, but i don’t tell you everything. you know that, right? sometimes, i feel guilty, like i owe you […]

my upstairs neighbors had a beautiful baby girl named nola lee. she has the pinkest lips and cheeks. i stood over her as she slept. five, maybe ten, minutes passed by without a stretch or a shift from her. “she laughed earlier,” said her uncle. “no, she didn’t,” laughed his wife. “well, she smiled,” he […]

i’ve been hiding somewhere between here and the moon, resting my head on clouds and gazing at the sun. i’ve been at a loss for words, not because nothing has happened but because so much has happened. i don’t know what else to say. i told sabrina, “i still don’t know what it is i […]