c’mon, get messy
August 4, 2005Oh man, I’m wiped out today. I’ve been working hard, and I can feel it in my eyes and my fingers and my neck. Cramps don’t help, either. Or the bloating. Or the cravings for everything chocolate. I am still up against one more deadline for the week, and I don’t know how I’ll get it done.
This is me trying to write about the real stuff.
This is me trying not to impress you.
It’s harder than you’d think.
I have been doing experiments all summer in letting go, getting messy and spilling open. There’s a page in my sketchbook where I tried intentionally to write as quickly as I could; I even used a brush tip pen instead of my usual uniball. But instead of looking beautiful and messy, the page just looks sloppy and muddy. I’ve been tempted so often to just tear the page right out and pretend it never existed, and I know that’s totally ridiculous. You can’t mess up getting messy, right?
I'm Christine, and this is a slice of my life—a sweet, rich, wildly indulgent slice that would taste really good with a scoop of Breyers vanilla bean ice cream. Read more >>
I run a darling, friendly, little graphic design studio.
I look on the bright side.
I take photos. Lots of photos.
I wish on stars and on websites.
I built my first web site 7 years ago and got 15 seconds of fame. (It changed my life.)
I launched, then relaunched, an online magazine.
I admitted to several embarrassing crushes.
I consumed more bacon than any human should and lived to tell the tales.
It is extremely difficult to let go. Well, it’s not so difficult letting go, but it is terrifying when you do. Perhaps you shouldn’t do it. Still, I liked your stuff.
all i know that it’s hard messing up you–the messy you, the neat you, or whatever *you* you are that day. life is about trying on different hats until you find the ones that fit you best! you really can’t go wrong. and if you do, you just learn something about yourself.
xoxo
sarah
ps or it might just be a bad case of pms, and in that case, give it a few days, and you will be all better again. mydol helps.
aw miss, you are very good at being open and honest; you always have! i know the feeling though, and it’s good to check yourself from time to time. :)
i know what you mean… you try to make a piece of artwork look free and “let go”-ed and messy in a beautifully artsy fartsy sense… but it just doesn’t quite turn out that way. i don’t know what the solution to that is, but i do know that your artwork is lovely and your perceptiveness and beautiful writing are undeniable. so keep chugging. …even if those cramps get in the way (ew. i’m in the same boat presently.)
=) –serena
all hail myrna!
Holy crap, your wedding dress comment that popped up on the line about chocolate made me howl!! Here’s to getting messy!!
All this stuff’s essential. (Sing with me now!)
So, let go.
Jump in.
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown.
man, if i had a dollar for every page i wanted to rip out of my journal….i too struggle with this constantly. my stuff always looks so controlled, calculated.
you are beautiful in your humaness. sloppyness. crampiness. crankiness. pmssyness.
ain’t life grand?
a veritable plethora of highs and lows. i better stop now. I feel a cliche coming on, (something to do with “without the dark…”
i’ll just skip it. my accupuncturist said that pms is our most POWERFUL time as women. (in many ancient tribes they recognized this and really listened to what them women said during this time.)
I was very pleased to read about your getting messy.
Today is a messy day for me. I slept in and woke up and announced “I’m not doing anything today”.
I have a big weekend ahead and I needed the break.
Making a sandwich and not cleaning up the “mess”. Licking the lime seasoning off of tortilla chips and leaving the uneaten remnants behind (eew, I know).
This messy day may not be impressive, but it is needed. Hope you have a fabulous weekend!
One of my favorite facts for art students is that Picasso only liked 1 out of every 5 or 6 paintings that he did. “And that was Picasso!” The trick to being a good artist, I tell my kids, isn’t making something great every time you sit down to draw. The trick is to keep on drawing UNTIL you make something great.
That’s why I will never have a clean studio. Every illustration that I do is preceded by a dozen messy sketches.
oh, i always feel like i mess up getting messy. if you’re aiming for that artful mess, you know, a little impressionist style, then a lot of things seem to go wrong…
i agree with frou frou on this one, just let go…it’s sooo amazing here…it’s alright, cus theres beauty i breakdown…so let go jump in…well what ya waiting for?
(and that footnote thing is just ever so clever!)
aw girl i totally know what you mean, at least i think so. an endless number of times do i imagine lots of seemingly wonderful things in my head but when i try to make it materialize it never looks or sounds like i mean it to. anyway, i am glad you understand this (if so) because the truth is everything you do is remarkable and it just shows how strong an artist you are the way you always face these kinds of challenges head on and know not to let those little devil’s advocate thoughts get the best of you. you rock.
ps. myrna is on my block now, i think she is the one making me unable to write without being succinct. let’s do something once she clears out of town? xo.
“do not fear mistakes, there are none” – miles davis.
i was just there. i hear you girl, it is so hard! take a break. walk on wet grass barefeet. do some yoga. hit the magazines at a bookstore. take a bubble bath. watch a good movie. do nothing and let your body recuperate. creativity will arrive before you know it. *hugs*
messy->being free->open->learn ? :-/
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