A thousand question marks

i don’t know everything. in fact, i’m certain i don’t know much and have a lot to learn, but there are some things that i know for certain:

• i have amazing people in my life.
• i am at my best when i am with them and when i am doing things for other people.
• i must write and make things. i don’t know why, but my hands feel lost when they are not creating.
• i will never look like them.
• but that doesn’t mean i shouldn’t take care of my body. it feels good to exercise and pamper and relax.
• what you see is not always what i see and there may be a difference between my ugly and your beautiful. there will also be some things our eyes miss entirely.
• as much as i’d like to believe that my hormones do not affect my emotions, they do, and every month i get horny, then tired, then depressed, then happy again — in that order.
• when i am starting to feel the hunger pangs in the late night hours at one of the many fine drinking establishments in my neighborhood, the tamale guy will be there with his cooler and i will get a jalapeno-cheese tamale for a buck fifty. it will hit the spot.
• i’m not 19, anymore.
• the blue-skied days far outnumber the gray ones, and yes, the sun will come out, again, tomorrow.

these are things that i know for sure, and when everything else seems so nebulous and confusing and scary, i know i have these things, these truths. i know i always have somewhere to go. i know it’s okay.

Filed Under Today | Comments Off on A thousand question marks