November 2001
Pond scum
sometimes, i’m afraid i talk more about doing good than actually doing it. i have so many grandiose plans about how to change the world, but i spend my days getting paid a better than decent salary and my nights doing whatever pleases me. i look at others with critical eyes and don’t hesitate to […]
Read more >>Parking lot picnic
our cars were parked two spaces away from each other. he, in a white toyota camry, me, in my white acura. i thought i was the only one who had parking lot picnics, but the man was eating his lunch, too — something from mcdonald’s, just across the street. he lifted his burger to his […]
Read more >>Forty-five degrees!
the other night was the first time living in LA i’ve ever thought to myself, “i could really use a scarf right now.” seriously. forty-five degrees. it was that cold. inside, my feet are wrapped in wool socks and my bed is a mess of every blanket i own. by the time i reach the […]
Read more >>Electricity hangs in the sky
i was sitting indian-style on the floor when kid in candy started and my heavy spirits were lifted to the dim ceiling. all of a sudden, i was back in portland, sitting under blue skies. i was in a record store, sifting through discs with dawnie. i was laughing on the porch, taking sips of […]
Read more >>Another year of unbelievable luck
i know i’m getting old because today i hemmed my pants with a thread and needle, not the stapler i’d normally use. by the second leg, i was stitching so quickly i had a flash of my mother sitting on her bed and handing over the pants she’d hemmed for me. “there, all done.” this […]
Read more >>Happiest
already, this autumn is so much better than the last, and i am so happy. my brother is in town and my toenails are pink and the leaves on the sidewalk go crunchcrunch as i walk to my car. for my birthday (a celebration that is going to last four days, it seems) i have […]
Read more >>Who’s the boss?
his voice boomed over the racks of socks and stacks of t-shirts. he was doing business in target, where the girls’ section meets women’s footwear. “it’s not that i’m egotistical,” he said, waving his cellphone in the air and pacing violently between aisles, “but i am the boss.” –target
Read more >>One one-thousand, two one-thousand
i forgot to count how many meteors i saw, but i know at one point they were shooting across the sky every five seconds. as soon as i breathed, “five one thousand,” another flash of light came streaking across the blackness. i forgot to make a wish. i forgot a lot of things. but it […]
Read more >>Slippery when wet
the first thing i noticed when i walked inside is that the floor was clean — and wet. as if somebody had just mopped and forgotten the yellow slippery when wet sign. as i walked out of the stall, in walked a tall woman with a silvery white bob. she was wearing a beige suit […]
Read more >>Jasmine tea and vinyl
i got to chinatown earlier than i thought i would and parked on the street, and on my way to the restaurant, three old men growled at me in a language i didn’t know. i wanted to yell back, in their native tongue, “haven’t you ever seen a girl in a skirt before?” but i […]
Read more >>Ooh-oooh, nobody knows it
i just expended my last ounce of energy dancing to “don’t go breakin’ my heart” in my parked car, one house down from mine. and then i tripped, twice, on my way to the bathroom. now i am lying in bed, where i can do no more harm. (pretty soon, i’m certain i’ll pass out.) […]
Read more >>Do it all over again
i think i fell asleep for five minutes, sometime during won’t get to heaven, when the lights were flashing purple white orange red, when everything was such a blur that i decided to close my eyes, instead. i wonder if anyone noticed, but i doubt it, because the whole theater seemed to be in a […]
Read more >>Putting away the silverware and fine china
the party didn’t really end until 2pm today, after joel put away his guitar, claudine stopped singing and i set down my imaginary tamborine. i met back up with them at 11 and we practically ran to cj’s pantry, where we’d had breakfast just weeks before. “that girl is wearing the same jeans she wore […]
Read more >>One parts gin, two parts ginger ale
there will be an interesection of people, places and things tonight: cocktails swirling and bottles clanking and voices carrying from room to room to room. i can already hear the conversations in my head (how do you know so-and-so, what do you do, where do you live?) and smell the alcohol on my breath. i […]
Read more >>Confetti stars
i’ve got paint on my fingertips and shards of paper on my lap. there are two envelopes unsealed and undelivered beside the jar of dirty water and a blurry polaroid beside that. god, i missed this. making things. making a mess. and the look on your face and the sound in your voice and the […]
Read more >>The girl who cried wolf
i am falling apart today. slightly unraveling & fraying at the edges. my eyes are blurry, my throat is scratchy and my stomach is tumbly, and i don’t think any of the symptoms come from any one thing. in fact, i may be imagining it all.
Read more >>The quiet game
i don’t know what else to say except it’s been so long and i can’t tell you why. this seems to be the time of the year when i get quiet, for one reason or other. i feel like keeping things to myself, lately, the way i feel and what i see and where i […]
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