“she’s a cling-on,” e. explained. “oh, she is?” i asked. “didn’t you see her outfit?” “yeah, i just thought she dressed funny.” –comic convention, san diego, calif.

dude, he said, leaning in close to his friend, that could be us if you just got off your frickin’ ass. by that he meant the duo strumming and singing for the audience. his friend, eyes never leaving the stage, just laughed nervously. –kings of convenience show, troubadour, west hollywood

the 4-year-old boy had been flirting me from the moment he sat down at the reception. his mother said to him, “do you even know how old she is?” he peered up at me. “12?” we laughed. “um, no. i’m a little older than that,” i said. he paused and furrowed his eyebrows. “45?” –wedding […]

“i don’t like dogs,” said the little boy, walking zig zags in the grocery store aisles. “why not?” asked his mom. “because they bite cats,” he said matter-of-factly. “sometimes, they bite people, too.” –ralphs supermarket

she held up the line at the post office over $1.09. she was insisting that the cashier gave her the wrong change, her german accent rising as she got more angry, her shaky hand waving the receipt in the air. they recounted the details once, then twice, and the cashier sighed and said, “i am […]

“that guy’s hair looks like that one ’80s band but i can’t remember its name.” “flock of seagulls.” “oh my god that’s right.” –roof, martini lounge, hollywood

he was wearing a yellow plaid shirt rolled up past his elbows, tight jeans and a black cowboy hat. his hips swayed to and fro, reminiscent of male strippers and marlboro ads. –queen of silver lake pageant, silver lake

i’m standing in line at rite-aid, getting an assortment of provisions like shampoo, ziploc bags and a new dish-washing sponge. the checker has ringlets of black hair that frame her round, shiny face, and i say hello and ask how she’s doing. they aren’t words i just say, like hello or what’s up. i mean […]

he was dressed for golf from the knees up. his feet, wearing loafers with gold buckles and dotted black socks, were ready for work. her string of pearls and lavendar sweater set were perfect for high society, but waist down she looked like just another orange county housewife. –blue awning caf

we saw them at baja fresh, waiting for their order of healthy, fresh mexican food. she wore jeans with bleach colored stripes down the back of her thighs, and he was barefoot. our eyes moved up his body and spotted, first, a sweat-stained wife beater and, next, a mullet. –baja fresh, The Valley