December 2001
Time out
i am coughing hysterically and it just won’t stop. i’ve been sick for almost two weeks now. it makes me so sad and achey and cranky, too. i suppose it’s partly my fault; i have not really taken a good chunk of time to rest until today. it’s been so much go-go-go with my two […]
Read more >>Family ties
and just like that, christmas is over. the last few packages thought to be lost in the holiday rush were spotted in a cubby hole outside the front gate. they sit in a crumpled bag, waiting to be wrapped. a few branches hang sadly because they were never fully clothed. the christmas carols have been […]
Read more >>vacation, all i ever wanted
today is wednesday, but it is my friday. actually, it’s my last day before vacation, and i feel like i should be going to a classroom party with fruit punch and star-shaped cookies and play games like heads-up 7-up and simon says until the school bell rings. two and a half weeks to stay up […]
Read more >>Excuse me, Elsa
it was elsa’s birthday today and she drank one too many shots. she spilled and tripped and slurred her words all the way to our table. all i wanted was a slice of apple streudel and a glass of water but i lost her to more birthday singing and drinking and floating. when it was […]
Read more >>Welcome home
my brother’s feet will touch the los angeles pavement within the hour, the first time in three years. i can’t be at the airport to greet him, but i know he will call from my dad’s car and he will ask in his dutch-tinged english when he can come over and i will smile heart […]
Read more >>Earthquake
she had a voice like an aggressive, british miss piggy. it shook the table. she towered over the restaurant on her way out, nearly tripping over her black boots. –lunchtime at a ramen house
Read more >>Get festive
i thank my mom for never dressing me up in holiday clothing: sweaters emblazoned with christmas trees, earrings the shape of lightbulbs, socks that spread a message of christmas cheer. i’ve got spirit, yes i do, but i do not need to wear it on my sleeve, or head, or feet. tonight, i am cutting […]
Read more >>All I want for Christmas
i know what i want this christmas, and it can’t be wrapped in paper or tied in bows. i want a hug from my grandma. i want a christmas tree short enough that i can reach the top by standing on my tiptoes. i want to laugh so hard i have to hold my stomach […]
Read more >>Shiny and new
i am, of course, okay. the shaky feeling has subsided, and my car window is shiny new. everyone rushed to my rescue today, in thoughts and words and action, and i am so grateful i know so many beautiful people. (you know who you are, i hope. i’ve told you once but if i need […]
Read more >>Shattered
there is broken glass everywhere, and i don’t even know how to begin to clean it up. i want to pretend it is not there. i want to crawl back into bed and wake up at 7:30 like i do every other day. i want it to be every other day. somebody broke into my […]
Read more >>Vicodin dreams
my mouth is a tea cup and i’ve got a string dangling out of the corner of my mouth. but that’s what the instructions said, right? yes. i read them at least five times, and clearly it said: “if there is excessive bleeding after a period of six hours, place a dry tea bag on […]
Read more >>Better than okay
sometimes, i wonder how loud the mouse clicks really are. can you hear them in the bathroom if the water is running? or in the dining room if you are on the phone? what about outside while taking out the trash? can you hear me? does it matter? oh, my room is getting cold, again. […]
Read more >>Santa
i saw santa riding shotgun in a metallic grey lincoln. he wasn’t wearing his hat. –imperial highway, by the brea mall
Read more >>We are not crazy
is it, we ask ourselves, a blessing or a curse to pay such close attention to detail and be able to let our imaginations run wild?
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