i am scattered all over the place right now. i am carrying an armful of emotions, but they keep falling to the ground, and when i bend down to pick one up, another one falls. so here i am, taking slow steps, holding on tightly to the load. my arms are not strong enough for this.<\/p>\n
i am scared. i am scared i won’t be able to handle my job and i am scared i will get too comfortable in my new place and i am scared i will forget about my dreams. i am scared that you don’t like me and i am scared that it matters. i am scared of endings, but i am more scared of beginnings, because there is so much possibility.<\/p>\n
people say i am strong, but i don’t feel strong. i feel like the slightest gust of wind could blow me over. i could crumble into a million pieces and disappear with a breeze.<\/p>\n
and so many good things are happening. i am not ungrateful, but sometimes i wonder if i deserve it all. one of these days, i think, my luck is going to run out, and then what? i will find myself on some street corner with a handwritten sign asking for your kindness.<\/p>\n
i think about yesterday, and the day before, and the week before, and the month before, and i can’t believe i got here. it happened so fast.<\/i> i think about tomorrow, and the day after, and the week after, and the month after, and i don’t know what’s in store.<\/p>\n
hope and wonder and anxiety and contentment and fear. i don’t even know what i’m feeling, anymore. there’s much too much.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
i am scattered all over the place right now. i am carrying an armful of emotions, but they keep falling to the ground, and when i bend down to pick one up, another one falls. so here i am, taking slow steps, holding on tightly to the load. my arms are not strong enough for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=84"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=84"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=84"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=84"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}