sometimes, i’m afraid i talk more about doing good than actually doing it.<\/p>\n
i have so many grandiose plans about how to change the world, but i spend my days getting paid a better than decent salary and my nights doing whatever pleases me. i look at others with critical eyes and don’t hesitate to turn to whisper harsh words, yet i constantly fail to see my own shortcomings and faults. i am so good at making everything sound like a dream that i forget that sometimes the world is just harsh and cold and mean and there is nothing anybody can do about it.<\/p>\n
when i talk about how lucky i am or mention how grateful we should be, i don’t say it to be boastful or proud. i do it because if i don’t constantly remind myself i will forget. i will get so wrapped up in myself, in my insecurities and desires, and i will trample on the people who mean the most to me, and i don’t ever want to do that. i don’t ever want to forget how i got where i am.<\/p>\n
and what do i know, anyway? i am 26, and i feel 13, and i act 5. i am so confused so often and i get terrified to the point of paralysis and i think myself in circles until i’m so dizzy all i want to do is pass out and live in my dreams.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
sometimes, i’m afraid i talk more about doing good than actually doing it. i have so many grandiose plans about how to change the world, but i spend my days getting paid a better than decent salary and my nights doing whatever pleases me. i look at others with critical eyes and don’t hesitate to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=203"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=203"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=203"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/maganda.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=203"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}