and there i was, a vision of absolute girliness.

ibuprofin swimming in my veins. the almighty wave passing through my body. my body blown up blimp size.

i stood in the express lane, wearing jeans, a hooded sweatshirt and ratty black converse. my arms already filled with caramel brownie mix, nestle crunch bars and licorice, i picked up a copy of cosmo and threw it onto the counter with my other rations.

oh bedside astrologer. show me the way to men, sex and money! i want to make him plead and beg for more! i want him to worship me. i want, i want, i want!

i want to crawl under my quilt and come out in the springtime. i want a big fat slice of cheesecake and a latte to wash it down. i want flowers, lots of them, big bundles, huge bouquets, that light up my whole room. i want to be wooed for once. i want my monthly visitor to go away now, please, thanks.

screw the sugar, spice and everything nice. i am a real girl, and cursing every last bit of it.