when i was in fourth grade, christina corral and i would talk on the phone for hours and make lists of things to bring when spending the night at the other's house. i remember they were things like Bop magazine, our Cabbage Patch Kids (who were friends and two months apart in age!), jelly shoes and New Edition cassettes.

as i got older, i'd get even more obsessive. when going to the philippines during the summer, i'd list items of clothing, accessories, toiletries and miscellaneous items and lay them all on my bed and floor days, even weeks, in advance. i'd make checkmarks as i packed each item. i did almost the same thing when i went to Paris for the semester, except i must have filled a whole Five Star notebook with notes and reminders, pages and pages with headings like Don't Forget and Remember To. and then i had to do the whole "whatever you packed, take out half, and that's what you bring" thing. and i still had more than i needed.

it wasn't until my second or so weekend jaunt in europe that i learned how to pack light. you learn how to stuff 10-days worth of necessities into a backpack because you sure as hell don't want to be lugging it around when you get lost in a new city or find yourself stranded miles away from any public transportation and have to walk down a tiny road for miles in the cold, windy rain (an experience i had the pleasure of having in a south-of-france town, antibes). pretty soon, i didn't even have to think about it, anymore. i could come home 'round 3am after a night of drunken joy and carelessly toss things into my North Face backpack, roll out of bed at 8am and catch a train without even worrying that i had everything.

now, when i go to my parents' house for the weekend, i stuff things into a small backpack minutes before i'm supposed to leave, usually in a bit of a hurry because i told them i'd be home 15 minutes ago. i have a system down: i pack a bag of toiletries that's usually ready; take my work bag that's always heavy with music, books and my journal; and bring a change of clothes.

still, i always manage to forget something. and my clothes usually end up not matching. and my backpack is somehow stuffed with all of these things that i didn't need, instead.

it makes me wonder if maybe christina corral and i had the right idea back then, and i start to think that maybe i should start making lists, again, to make sure i get everything right.

but who am i kidding. i know i will find myself up at 9am friday morning -- with a flight to depart at noon -- frantically stuffing my bag with whatever it is i think i might need. and it probably won't be enough, but once i'm there, it really won't matter at all.