i have decided not to expect so much. i am not going to resolve to do anything. i am not going to hope this or that happens. i am not even going to imagine that this year is going to be anything special at all. the way i figure: pleasantly surprised is so much nicer than sorely disappointed.

it worked this weekend.

i didn't put much stock in the new year's eve celebration, and i ended up having a smashing time. my parents opened their house to a few random cousins who were left behind, my friend joel who had nowhere else to go and a family from mexico my dad has befriended. we were all orphaned in some way and found pleasure in each other's company -- and a bottle of malibu rum. at 12 minutes to midnight, we held glasses of champagne filled with 12 grapes, one for each month of the year, and made our wishes (one of my favorite filipino traditions). after five grapes, i ran out of wishes, so i started wishing for other people. a few hours after the pathetic hollywood sign was lit (no further comment), we fell asleep on the sofa in front of the TV. the next day we mulled around the house eating leftovers and watching a fine selection of 80s films. we were in our PJs until 3 p.m. i spent the rest of the day wired on a double latté and just happy to be alive.

which is a lovely way to start the new year, don't you think?

they say that the 1st of january determines how the upcoming year will go. if that's the case, then i can anticipate a long and lazy year filled with good food and warm company and not much else.

but i know better.

last year began with a string of high expecations and tall promises. i didn't get what i wanted, but i didn't want what i probably needed. i got thrown for a few loops and ended up somewhere i never thought i'd be. and here i am now. on a monday. in los angeles. working for the web. living on my own. it's not at all where i expected i'd be, but i am pleasantly surprised.